My guide claimed to be a native inhabitant, fluent in Runic. I believed him. Well, up until the incident with the sign that is. It pointed to a narrow gap in the cliff, leading to some caves. “Bump Farm” he said in his usual condescending manner. “This is obviously a short-cut. Bump is a term they use around here for small hills, upon which the farm is no doubt situated. Follow me!”

Some shortcut. These caves are full of spiders. Probably did me a favor though, killing my guide.

I’ve been lost in here for days – not sure how many – and I’ve eaten all the glowing fungus. Fortunately it doesn’t seem to have had any adverse effects, and by some stroke of good fortune all the spiders have gone away and have been replaced by giant pink rabbits. I think it’s safe to crawl out of my hiding spot now and try to find my way out.

We found the above page caught in a bush by the side of a little used track in Novia, after being carried on the wind from some unknown location. It serves well as a reminder to always consult a reliable travel guide.